Monday, November 30, 2009

No. 90

Beer: Dos XX
Date: November 25th, 2009
Place: Mom's House, Huntsville, AL

This year I had to do it and to be intentional about spending time with family.

Now that I live a couple thousand miles away, and only make it south once a year, if that, and I’m getting on up there, as is my family, I realized that it was due time, past time, to give to the family and to show that they are important and to act like someone who loves his family and gives time to them and makes it a point, a point, a point, to be there.

This choice, I reckon, was prompted by scares. My grandfather was a few centimeters from death months ago. I needed to see him. My brother was struggling with some issues and was in the hospital. I needed to see him. My sister is making what I believe are some poor choices. I needed to see her (even if she didn’t care to see me, or the rest of us, and didn’t show up). My brother has been on special ops (perhaps) but even if not gets shipped all over the planet on no minutes notice and then has to cancel plans and gets shot at and is in danger all the time and is around at times and not around at times and he happened to be home. And my mom, my dad, aren’t getting any younger. As I spent my high school and middle school and possibly even my elementary school years running I haven’t given them the time that I should. They won’t be around forever.

Maybe these choices was also prompted by guilt. For lost time that I won’t make up. Don’t have time to make up. Don’t have location to make up. Don’t know if I have the self-control and selflessness to make up.

But small steps are victories.

And this trip South was spent avoiding friends and sitting idly in my mother’s house, with no television or internet, and my dad’s farmhouse, with no heat (nor plumbing, nor television, nor internet), and grandparent’s houses, with no distractions, burning time, breaking down walls.

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